A Story not Wished to be Read
By
Nicola Black
Copyright 2012 by Nicola Black
Smashwords Edition
Dark Passages
Don’t follow me
Down the dark passages of my mind.
Though I need you near,
Would you stay with me
To find my dark secrets?
Are you willing to risk
Getting lost in the shadows
To bring me light?
Come follow me
Down the dark passages of my mind.
I want to lure you and keep you
Forever mine.
To get entangled in my sinister thoughts
And never get free...
Would you want to be mine then?
Save me from
The cruel dark passages of my mind.
Teach me how to love, how to trust.
Take my hand and
Lead me to the light.
Give me yourself
And I’ll give you everything.
Faith
She suffered in the torment she made
When she did not trust God.
Through tears and fears she did wade,
Trapped in her horrifying abode.
He showed her mercy and love
And first she was blind.
All she saw were clouds above,
And Satan spoke in her mind.
When at last alone, tired, and afraid,
She thought to turn to His love,
All she thought He would do- upbraid
And knew she deserved Him to disapprove.
But still He gave love, mercy, and grace
And with tears in her soul
She fled to His warm embrace
And no longer felt cold.
Reminiscent
Looking back on my short life
Should I be ashamed?
What did I do and who did I please?
And was there an innocent blamed?
When I account for my life
Will I be able to say
That I did my best and tried my best
And made the darkness go away?
Only time will tell whether
I deserve the crown
The crown that God will deme fit for me
For my life, for my time I’ve been around.
Time
Is there enough time in this world
To do what you want to do
To be as helpful as you can be
To do what you long to?
Is there enough time in this world
To think what you want to think
To be as creative as you can be
To not think of your rank?
I think there’s enough time in this world
To do what you want to
To think what you want to think
To do what you long to.
Her Vows
She made a deal sealed with a kiss.
I wonder if she knew
That of her old life she would miss
Not much that is not of her new.
She made a promise for her life:
To him forever would
She be a loving, kind, his wife.
To keep this task, she knew she could.
Caged
Could I ever be released
From this cage I made?
Everyone else I’ve pleased.
Am I destined to fade?
At a distance everyone I kept.
Farther apart am I.
How may tears I have wept
Though my face shows the lie.
“I’m fine, never better.”
Does anyone see through
See what holds me like a fetter?
I can’t tell from what they do.
One day-Oh! How far?-
Released will I be.
Or have I gone too far?
In the end, it’s just me…
Goodbye
I know you’re standing there
Begging me not to leave
You run your fingers through your hair
Trying to make me believe
But baby I know you can see
That all of this is a lie
This never did work you and me
That’s why I’m saying Goodbye
It didn’t hurt that much
I’ve already moved on
And she’s enjoying you touch
You even bought her a ring to don
Though you think you still believe
Marrying her making me a thief
Don’t make that mistake giving me your love
You don’t see it left as quickly as a dove.
Discovery
Languishing in the prison of my mind
Shall I set all these limitations?
The past, the future-fears that bind.
And rough are my affiliations.
But this is my discovery:
No matter what people say
It’s perfectly find to be me.
Now I can find my own way.
To have and to hold-meaningless words
Still more I’m sorry or fine.
What’s it like to be free as the birds?
Or should I get drunk on expensive wine?
Not my style-I’m my own way
And if I stick out who’ll judge?
The careless friends who beg me to stay
Or the one who thinks me a drudge?
Tell Me
I’m spiraling, spiraling down and down
I cannot even see the ground
And I just don’t care
I’m free falling through the sky
The only question why
Why do I feel this way
So tell me am I worth the space
And tell me am I just a waste
I’m not everything you see
The problem is I’m just me
So tell me am I a waste
I’m crying crying out my eyes
In the dark of the night
Where you can’t see
I’m blocking in and pushing out
Creating space all about
Just my isolation
So tell me am I worth the space
And tell me am I just a waste
I’m not everything you see
The problem is I’m just me
So tell me am I just a waste.
He Was There
He came out of nowhere, when I was real low.
He saw deep within me, and he just wouldn’t go
I was frightened, heck I was scared,
But he just wouldn’t listen when I told him beware
He was there when I needed him most
His arms wrapped around me when I saw a ghost
He was there though I put up a fight
He whispered I love you in the still of the night
Though I loved him, I couldn’t believe.
He proved each day though that he wouldn’t leave
After a while sharing our life
He asked a question: would I be his wife?
He was there when I needed him most
His arms wrapped around me when I saw a ghost
He was there though I put up a fight
He whispered I love you in the still of the night.
Telepathetic
Some would say I’m weird
He just says I’m eccentric
Some would say I talk too much
But for him it fills the silence
The silence he creates
He may not have a physical form
But he has the strongest presence
I may not know his voice
But his is the loudest voice I have
The loudest voice I have
Some would think I’m not loving
But he’s the best love I have
I guess I’m might be too logical
But he’s my creative side
My creative side.
I may not hold him in my arms
Though I know I soon will
But for now it’s enough to know
I hold him in my heart
And I hold in my mind
I Can Be Good
It just doesn’t fit see
The way that I see to be
It isn’t the real me
I need you to know that
I know that I’m happy
I’m right where I want to be
I’ll become a better me
And show you that
I can be good now
Though you’ll want me to show how
I can be good
It’s not a one way street
In the middle we’ll have to meet
I’m prepared my words to eat
If you can show me that
My attitudes the one to beat
You haven’t been too discreet
Would you say that you agree
But I’ll promise you that
I can be good now
Festival
Floating through the festival
The company best of all
That I could find
The eyes the laugh the smile
Fill me up all the while
Our hands combined.
The First
The first of things always has importance
So you’re important even by your presence
The first to catch my eye and hold my hand
While even your smallest meanings I understand
The first of things is easily wished for and gotten
But some are relished and found to be rotten
You are treasured and held in my heart and mind.
You’re the best, The First of romance I could find
More Than I Deserve
How was I supposed to know
That I deserve so little?
Was I told that it was so
Before my first dribble?
Someone forgot to tell him,
A fact that’s so important.
Could they forget to tell him
While I was shivering?
He’s more than I deserve, true,
A fact I will not forget.
But I do not have the nerve
To tell him, to tell him.
Take this heart and dash it to pieces
Throw it over a cliff and run over it
But before you do promise me this
Promise to lie to me to hold me
Never let me know your intentions
Let me believe that you love me
And don’t ever release me
As long as you do those things
Then it matters not what you do
My heart may break a million times
But the pieces will still belong to you
Through all my pain I will still feel
And remember how I felt with you
Take this heart and dash it to pieces
But promise to love me in return.
Italian Sonnet
When first his face across the room was seen-
Though I at first admit that he was not
Upmost, ashamed to say, in my own thought-
Could I foretell how wonderful he’s been
To me a poor and lonely creature thing?
That he, without most selfish thought, a knot
In me, in my own heart with tie-harsh not!-
Bind me to him with utmost, nay sin?
Suppose I could-and did- see this ahead
And with determined stride did speak to him,
To bring into my life this blessing-guy!
Design, without intent to get in bed,
Instead to light this light that had grown dim,
And on his couch so sit with joy and sigh.
12/14/11
Words written, tongues bit and
Shadows hidden behind pretty eyes.
Beating hearts think they’re smitten
And refuse to seek any lies.
Lazy days, hazy phase
Of putting of tomorrow.
Fears of the future’s maze,
And gaining many sorrows.
Never leave, love we weave
And the hope that never ends.
Forever and a day I believe
For you’re with me in life’s bends.
Goodnight
The long goodnight that wished without end
Stayed with me in my dreams after you left.
The arms, that wrapped and pulled me ever closer,
Did make dizzy my head and me breath bereft.
To stay forbid, but such is a longing that,
As long as your touch remembered, will last.
Take refuge in my sheets, my arms, my mind,
Don’t leave me with trails you fingers did blast.
Leave me with my dreams of times future,
Or past, that never will be, or last long enough.
Such moments were fleeting, but lasted forever,
And as I recall you were everything, gentle and rough.