Voices

Jonathan Traynor

Published by Jonathan Traynor at Smashwords

Copyright 2012 Jonathan Traynor

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Voices

“Sure I’ve been walkin on the Twelfth for years. I’ve never missed it - until this year that is. I’m gettin too old for the shenanigans. And, I don’t understand it anymore. Sure of course, I’m still an Orangeman, and I still believe in most everything it stands for. But I’m not sure if some o’these others understand a thing about what it stands for.

“Before I start answering yer questions I suppose ya want me to introduce myself for that tape recorder thing of yours. Well my name is John McSeverick, but everyone ‘round these parts calls me Tam. I’m 68-years-young, and I can’t remember why people started calling me Tam, but it’s just about the only name I answer to. I’m a retired butcher, I belong to Knocknaughrim Presbyterian Church and LOL 65 Sons of William Temperance Lodge. I was born and brought up in a farmhouse, trained to be a butcher after working with me Da on the farm. He came back from the war, hurt by shrapnel in the arm, and tol’ me he didn’t want me ever to be stuck for a trade. Mind you, it might have been he just wanted someone to slaughter the cattle proper!

This was the last of the recordings Joe was making and already he had an uneasy feeling about the last few interviews he’d recorded as he listened to Tam. This one had him uncomfortable already with the reference to butchery, despite the easy tones of the big man. His huge hands seemed restless, twisting together as if wringing the neck of a farm animal.

“I never left this wee country until I was 45 when my sister persuaded me to go to Canada to see our cousin, and since then ya haven’t be able to keep me here. If I don’t get abroad each year… None of this is answering your question is it?

“Okay, here’s the answer. I hate everything that’s happening with Northern Ireland, and not just that rumpus about the past. There’s talk about sitting down with those murderers in the new IRA or whatever them dissidents call themselves these days. And there’s been Orangemen walking with the so-called Loyalist paramilitaries for too long for my liking. I don't know what to do any more. It’s all falling apart, the blood isn’t running true in this land.

“My church has been so important to me. I’m an elder, and I spend a lot of time there. We’ve a new Minister there this past year or so. I like him. He’s but 33, but he listens. The oul’ minister was fine, but he could talk for Ulster. He’d blether on about anything, and he could blether forever. It meant Church was fine for social things but not much else... Until this new man came I had forgotten that Church was about God. Now, don’t be picking it up wrong. I never stopped believing or praying, I just stopped pulling the heart out of myself. This new man; he listened to me, and when he asked a few questions I found myself talking. It’s a bit like that machine of yours, except he seemed to, oh I don’t know how to say it, do more than listen. He might not agree with my views, but he understands why I have them. Yes, that’s it. I’ve also started reading the Scriptures again. I mean really reading them. And, that’s hard for me, because I was never that good at reading, it took me a bit of time at school to get the knack of it. And, that’s why I think I’ve been given a chance now, and why I agreed to do this interview with you. In the past year I’ve had something to think about and understand. And I have understood, understood what the Church is supposed to stand for. It's about recognising your sins, and then doing something about them. Mind you the minister might have a thing or two to say if he heard me say that!