Workshop Stories
Volume One
by
Richard Alan Dickson
Published by Grey Cat Press
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2012 © Richard Alan Dickson
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Table of Contents
For Sale: One Planet, Gently Used
The Hag's Handbook to the Tastiest Trick-or-Treaters
Other Titles by Richard Alan Dickson
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by
Richard Alan Dickson
If you've made it this far, congratulations. When I named this series, I knew full well that most people would hit the words, "Workshop Stories," and buzz right on past. For most people, "workshop" conjures visions of boring hours of technical instruction in the principles of crafting a product. Since most people rush to find their entertainment, they don't take the time to wonder at word choice.
Congratulations for having an inquisitive mind.
The writing workshops that I sometimes attend are nothing like anything I might have expected before my first one. Back then, I thought they must be something like all those continuing education classes I was forced to take as a CPA... long and dry and dull, with lots of talking and heads nodding and the smell of coffee thick in the air.
Um... no.
Not even close.
Typically, professional-level writing workshops start at around ten in the morning. After a few hours of discussion on dusty old couches in some tiny little room, they break up until the evening session. After another few hours in the evening, they break again until the following morning. Four or five hours, at most.
Sounds easy, right?
Well... that depends on your definition of the word.
Remember that these are writing workshops. That means that we either write a new short story for every daily session, or that we write some number of story openings amounting to the same approximate word count.
In all the spare time between the writing and the discussion, we also need to take the time to upload our stories, download stories from the twenty other professional writers attending the workshop, and read all the submissions so we can follow the next day's discussions.
Eating and sleeping is optional, but strongly recommended.
Okay, I'll agree with what you're probably thinking right now, but only to a point. Yes, it's a lot of work. Yes, you're exhausted by the time you leave. Yes, there's a lot of pressure to get everything done in time (mostly because these are your friends, and nobody likes to disappoint their friends).
But, "no," it's not crazy.
Writing workshops are tons of fun.
Think of your favorite writer. Tell me that you wouldn't enjoy a solid week of having that writer hand you a new short story every morning with your breakfast.
Think of your twenty favorite writers, each packed into the same hotel where you're staying, and each handing you a brand new story to read with your breakfast.
Picture the stack of new stories in front of you.
Tell me you're not smiling right now... I dare you.
By the third or fourth night—when nobody's had enough sleep and we're all typing just about as fast as we can—some of the stories become downright hilarious... but that's a tale for another time. We may hold workshops on the Oregon coast, not in Vegas, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we blab.
I wrote, "For Sale: One Planet, Gently Used," in an anthology workshop hosted by Denise Little and Dean Wesley Smith. The format for the workshop was rather simple. Dean and Denise picked a theme. The rest of us wrote stories that we believed might fit that anthology (actually, Dean wrote one, too, but that's only because there were almost fifty of us in that workshop and it was too hard for him to sit quietly on the sidelines. He had to join the fun. I'm glad he did. He wrote a great story... one more for that stack of stories I had the pleasure of reading in the morning.)
The theme for this particular round of the workshop was, "It's the end of the world as we know it" (which is a great song, by the way).
I suppose that I could have written something down the middle of the road... one of those post-apocalyptic stories involving zombies and exploding suns... but with so many other professional writers in the room, and with so many of them known for the great Sci Fi stories they routinely contribute to both Analog and Asimov's Sci Fi magazines, I decided to go a little off the beaten path.
Taking one of our uniquely human traits, and then advancing the concept of what some people have termed our "throw-away society" to a ridiculous level, I ended up with what I thought to be an amusing little tale.
"Devil Dogs" is an example of how the workshop assignments can change from day to day. In this workshop, Kristine Kathryn Rusch helped us focus on different aspects of craft by taking a story we'd submitted before the workshop and asking us to transform it several different ways.
My original story featured a PT boat in the South Pacific in WWII. As one of my overnight assignments, she asked for another story set in a Sci Fi world of my own creation, but using at least one element or artifact from the original story.
Clarification, please?
Um... no.
Part of what makes Kris such a brilliant instructor is that she can see when she's given just enough information to start the wheels spinning. We often can't see that they're turning, but she can. When that happens, she closes her mouth and smiles in a certain way that says, "Go away and type. Write me a story. Show it to me tomorrow when you're done."
We often end up with something completely different from what we expected, but that's the way the creative process works. Given half a chance, your "inner two-year-old" writes what it wants. In this case, that turned out to be WWII fighter planes, an alien forest, and a Rite of Passage. (Ask all you want. I don't know why. I asked the same thing, but my inner two-year-old didn't reply. It simply tossed me one of those Kris Rusch smiles and then walked away.)
Strictly speaking, "The Hag's Handbook to the Tastiest Trick-or-Treaters" never appeared in any of the workshops that I attended. I've included it here, however, because it was an spin-off of a Character Voice workshop (and workshops are wherever you find them).
In this assignment, I wondered what it might be like to bring a fairy tale into a modern setting. I decided to combine a "post Hansel and Gretel" world with an old Hag who desperately wants to get her message out on late-night television. She wants to revive the broken spirits of her fellow Hags by convincing them that children can, in fact, be handled easily. Using her patent-pending process (for one incredibly low price), Hags can once again enjoy the tastiest trick-or-treaters without the fear of ever being pushed inside their own ovens again.
Please note that this is the Hag's story. She's the one who craves children. I, on the other hand, much prefer chicken noodle soup.
"The Best First Date Ever" came from another anthology workshop. Many times, we're asked to write more than one round of stories for more than one anthology. Sometimes, the subject matter runs to our strengths. Other times... not so much.
The instructions here were to write a story to fit a romance anthology titled, "Best First Dates." When he gave us the assignment, the facilitator looked straight at me. Then, he grinned.
I write many types of stories, I write under several pen names, and I can usually find some idea that fits whatever need is presented to me. But I'm not really known as a romance writer.
I am, however, known for wacky stories (if you don't believe me, download the sample of the novel, Love, Venusian Style).
Wacky stories can fit within almost any anthology, romance included.
I surprised myself with a fun little story.
As you read it, see if you agree.
"Hank the Happy Snowman" was another story that never saw a real workshop. As with the Hag, however, it was fundamentally a workshop story—written with a technique exercised in nearly every workshop I've attended.
As people get tired, they start spouting myths. One popular myth is that story ideas are hard to find. Wrong. Story ideas are easy. The only hard part in this profession is planting your butt in the chair and keeping it there until the story is finished.
At its basic level, a story is simply a character in a setting with a problem. The way to pound the myth into dust when it rears its ugly head is to make the next assignment just that simple... toss out a character, a setting, and a problem (none of which are related) and ask the writers to bring back a story the next day.
Even with forty writers in the room, you will end up with forty different, unique stories... one idea; forty stories. Every. Single. Time. You will never even know that they came from the same story idea unless you were in the room when the assignment was given.
Anyway, back to Hank...
It snowed in Seattle a while ago. I didn't let that stop me from taking my daily walk. I may prefer to leave the snow in the mountains, where I can play with it or not, but I do know what it is. (My brother and I did a lot of tearing around the countryside on snowmobiles when we were younger. I still have the gear. It still fits.)
Decked out for the cold (but leaving the helmet at home), I started walking... and soon saw a pickup slip and slide past me with the hint of a snowman all alone in the bed.
My inner two-year-old blinked, then smiled.
I was in the middle of a novel project, but I took a day out of my schedule to write a mock workshop story using that picture: a snowman (character), the back of a pickup (setting), and no friends (problem).
I had no idea where the story might go... but he did.
I hope it's as much fun to read as it was to write.
That's actually my hope for all of the stories in this collection. They were fun to write. I hope they are as much fun to read. But, speaking of reading, this introduction is starting to cut into your reading time. I'll bring it to a close and let you get to it.
Thanks again for stopping by.
Enjoy your reading.
Richard Alan Dickson
January 2012
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For Sale:
One Planet, Gently Used
by
Richard Alan Dickson
Published by Grey Cat Press