8-11-08
SEED THOUGHTS FOR LOVING YOURSELF
Cultivating the Garden of Your Mind Day by Day
By Suzanne E. Harrill
© Suzanne E. Harrill 2007
First published by Innerworks Publishihg
ISBN 1-883648-16-5
All rights reserved.
The contents of this book may not be reproduced in any form, except for short extracts for quotation, review, or educational purposes, without the written permission of the publisher.
Innerworks Publishing
167 Glengarry Place
Castle Rock, CO 80108
Cover and book design by Val Price
Some passages were borrowed from
Affirm Your Self Day by Day: Seed Thoughts for Loving Your Self
Soft cover 1991 ISBN 0-9625996-1-1
Hardcover 1998 ISBN1-883648-22-X
This book is dedicated to my parents:
John and Mary Shaw
I am grateful for your help:
Diane Langley
Marle Creer
Peggy Floyd
Loretta Lewis
Danna Malcolm
Nancy Moonstarr
Cover and book design by Val Price
Valgalprice @hotmail.com
303.319.8348
Foreword by John Randolph Price
“Every day is a new beginning.” We smile at such a cliché not realizing the profound significance of the pure truth it contains, for through the darkness of night the old passes away and the light of dawn signifies a new day and a new life ─ if we capitalize on the opportunity.
An ancient teaching says that the beginning thought upon awakening sets the tone for the rest of the day. Considering this, I was reminded of once watching and listening to a quartet preparing to sing. The leader hummed a note and the others caught it and enthusiastically plunged into song on the same key, at the right pitch. They took advantage of a new beginning and issued forth a chorus of success ─ because they were in tune with the universal principal of harmony.
That’s what this book is all about ─ getting a jump-start each morning with the proper tone and pitch and continuing in the right rhythm throughout the rest of the day. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “We are what we think about all day long…the good mind is known by the choice of what is positive, of what is advancing. We must embrace the affirmative.” What do most of us think about all day long? Usually it’s what we do not want rather than what we do, and the primary reason for this is a sense of unworthiness. We have forgotten who we are ─ the highest of creation and the completeness of the universe ─ heirs to all that which is good, true, and beautiful. But with forgetting also comes remembering ─ a change of mind ─ and we have the power to choose that which is positive, of what is advancing. Day by day we can etch deeply in our personal consciousness the truth of our being and transform our self-image and self-esteem, becoming new creatures on the side of life where wonders never cease.
The word “consciousness” is an enigma to many people, yet it’s nothing more than the awareness, understanding, and knowledge of our identity. And as this self-image expands to encompass our Spiritual Self, the attributes of that Self begin to be reflected in the phenomenal world and miracles become the order of the day.
Suzanne is one of those practical writers who blends intellectual expertise and spiritual understanding with meaningful personal experiences of life. The result is a model for consciousness expansion ─ to help us realize our power through a deeper awareness, understanding, and knowledge of who and what we truly are.
In Seed Thoughts for Loving Yourself she takes us on a full year’s course of New Beginnings ─ using delightful seed thoughts to plant in the garden of our minds to change our beliefs, thus changing our lives. Assume the role of the gardener and follow Suzanne’s recommended sowing sequence. Let your mind be cultivated daily and water the seeds with fertile expectations, while also making sure that the weeds of trouble and discontent are continually uprooted. Do your part with dedication and enthusiasm, and a rich and bountiful harvest will be yours.
John Randolph Price is an internationally known lecturer and bestselling author of eighteen nonfiction books: The Angels Within Us, Angel Energy, Living a Life of Joy, The Superbeings, The Abundance Book, The Alchemist's Handbook, Empowerment, The Jesus Code, The Love Book, The Meditation Book, Practical Spirituality, A Spiritual Philosophy for the New World, The Success Book, The Wellness Book, With Wings As Eagles, The Workbook for Self-Mastery (formerly titled The Planetary Commission), Removing the Masks That Bind Us, and Nothing Is Too Good To Be True.
Introduction
May this daily affirmation book inspire you to plant new ideas, concepts, and thoughts in the garden of your mind or remind you of truths that you already know. Your mind is like the receptive soil in a garden. Many of the thoughts and beliefs growing there are not giving you the results you desire, so need to be weeded. You are like a gardener cultivating and caring for the thoughts and beliefs that grow in the garden of your mind. Each day of reading seed thoughts is an opportunity to re-pattern your thinking and update your belief system to new levels of truth. When you change negative, self-critical, fearful thoughts into positive, accepting, problem-solving, loving ones, you experience a shift in how you feel. As you change how you feel on the inside, you will find a desire growing to make positive behavioral changes. Your inner dialog with yourself will transform, too. These seed thoughts have the power to influence and improve your self-talk, which is a major way to create better results in your life. Consequently, these changes allow you to experience your life in ways that attract acceptance, forgiveness, and solutions to problems. Whether you are new to the journey of self-discovery or a seasoned traveler, use this daily guide to help you build and maintain a loving relationship with yourself and the world around you.
A major theme in this book is how to feel better about yourself by building your feelings of self-worth. Experiencing sound self-esteem is to grow daily in accepting the beauty and perfection of who you really are, your true Self (soul, essence, higher Self, authentic Self, Christ Self, God Self, Buddha Nature, etc.). Learning to accept that you are a spiritual being allows you to experience unconditional love from higher, more expanded, and aware parts of your being. As you allow this spiritual part of you that is all knowing and exists beyond our world to love you without conditions, you grow in feeling worthy, understanding that your life counts and makes a difference. You discover the importance of healing the negativity from your past by working through unprocessed feelings. Forgiving yourself and others for unwise behaviors, beliefs, attitudes, decisions, and habits releases old interpretations and feelings about being a victim of others and life experiences. Instead of restricting yourself to your past, you are free in the present moment to take full responsibility for your own life and know you can create a better future for yourself.
Daily, as you grow in your ability to feel warm and loving towards yourself, you will automatically pass unconditional love, tolerance, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, and awareness on to other people; people treat others the way they treat themselves. Feeling good within allows you to naturally convey good things to others. Forgiveness of others, by the way, does not mean you agree with or support their negative words or actions. It means you have learned what you could from the situations, grieved your losses, and are ready to remove yourself from perpetuating the drama. No longer are you at the effect of their negativity and can move on with your lives.
Before the daily affirmations begin on January 1 there are two important methods to help you get started loving yourself: a self-esteem inventory and The Twelve Steps for Building Self-Esteem. Begin by taking the Self-Esteem Awareness Inventory (after the introduction), then take it again after a year of reading this book to watch your progress. It does not tell you your level of self-esteem; it simply shows you areas where your belief system influences your self-esteem and where you might need to change some of your thinking patterns. Again, as you update the beliefs guiding your life to higher truths you will improve how you feel about yourself. Following the inventory is a definition of self-esteem and characteristics of high self-esteem to help you see the direction in which you are growing.
A sound spiritual path encouraging self-inquiry and personal transformation is the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Included in this book, I have rewritten The Twelve Steps for healing low self-esteem. Those of you already using the original Twelve Steps, may want to continue with that program.
Affirmations are positive statements that, when repeated over and over, help to re-pattern dysfunctional thoughts and beliefs that are already in place in your mind. Each sentence in the daily passages can stand alone as an affirmation, and the last sentence on the page, the daily affirmation, is one you can use throughout the day. Repeat this daily affirmation to yourself several times throughout the day. You might, for example, say it every time you walk through a door, look at your watch, or when you feel challenged, uncomfortable, upset, or angry. It helps to plant the ideas more powerfully in your mind when you write each affirmation down ten times a day, also. Read the passage for the day when you wake up and when you go to bed, out loud when possible.
There was a time in my life when many of the ideas in this book were new to me. Not only did I not have the belief system to hold them, I thought many of them were false. One idea in particular stands out in my mind where I had no clue what the higher truth was. A teacher said to me in one of our discussions, “No one can make you angry without your agreement.” I just walked away thinking to myself, “What a crazy idea, of course other people make me angry.” Then, I went through all the things going wrong with my life and the people that caused them, thus perpetuating my victim consciousness. It took many years and a lot of pondering, reading self-help books, taking self-discovery workshops, talking with wise people, counseling, meditating, journal writing, and inner work to comprehend ideas like the one my teacher had presented. Today, it is an automatic part of my belief system that other people do NOT make me angry and I know without a doubt that I have to have something matching the situation to even feel angry. I alone am responsible for my reactions and feelings to people and situations. Now, I go within and look at myself when “someone makes me angry,” to figure out what I had to do with the situation and what I want to do to change it. This empowers me to not be a victim of what others say or do and to live my life with more peace and harmony.
The same may be true for you when reading this book. When an idea startles you or makes you react, simply pause and consider this might be one of the concepts to delve a little deeper into before being able to accept it. Take your time. It took a long time to gather all the ideas growing in the garden of your mind. It is hard to tell which ones are the weeds sometimes. As the gardener of your mind, slowly look at the thoughts and beliefs that need to be pulled. Use the seed thoughts in this book for consideration to help you plant new ones. I share only what I have proven to be true for myself from my intense study and exploration of Truth on my personal journey. If an affirmation is too much of a stretch for you and your negative self-talk goes haywire telling you it is impossible, then consider changing the first couple of words. For example, change ‘I am worthy’ to ‘I am learning that I am worthy,’ or ‘I am considering I am worthy.’
I encourage you to extend love to others by placing the name of a loved one, a friend, or a special person on the page corresponding to the day of their birth. You will then be able to include them in your prayers, meditations, and focus for that day. The love growing within you then radiates secretly to all those within your world. If you are uncomfortable with certain spiritual words, such as God or higher Self, please substitute the word that is your personal preference; such as Higher Power, Universe, Universal Mind, Source, Creator, Christ, Energy, Life, Spirit, or All That Is. It is my intention to reach people of all faiths, as well as those who are triggered by certain religious words. Universal Truth that speaks to you is what is important. May this book help you stop negative thinking patterns that keep you stuck in low self-esteem and nourish you to remember your innate worth.
The Acorn Analogy, which follows, summarizes the teachings of this book.
The Acorn Analogy
Deep inside you know how to be you,
as an acorn knows how to be a mighty oak.
The acorn does the best it can do
at each stage of growth along its life path.
Even if the early start was less than perfect
the eager oak accelerates its desire to grow
every time that it has nurturing from nature:
sunlight, rainwater, and soil nutrients.
YOU are like the acorn doing your best
under the conditions in which you are growing.
Nurture yourself with awareness, acceptance, love,
self-respect, and self-esteem, then watch
you grow towards your full-potential Self!
*Namaste,
Suzanne
* “I honor the place in you of wholeness, love, light, truth, and beauty. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.”
Self-Esteem Awareness Inventory
Rate yourself on each with a scale of 0 to 4 based upon your current thoughts, feelings, and behaviors: 0 = I never think, feel, or behave this way. 1 = I do less than half the time. 2 = I do 50% of the time. 3 = I do more than half the time. 4 = I always think, feel, or behave this way.
Score Self-Esteem Statements
_____1. I like and accept myself as I am right now, today, even as I grow and evolve.
_____2. I am worthy simply for who I am, not what I do. I do not have to earn my worthiness.
_____3. I get my needs met before meeting the wants of others. I balance my needs with those of my partner and family.
_____4. I easily release negative feelings from other’s judgments and focus instead on living my life with integrity and to the best of my abilities.
_____5. I always tell myself the truth about what I am feeling.
_____6. I am incomparable and stop comparing myself with other people.
_____7. I feel of equal value to other people, regardless of my performance, looks, IQ, achievements, or possessions.
_____8. I am my own authority. I make decisions with the intention of furthering my own and others’ best interests.
_____9. I learn and grow from my mistakes rather than deny them or use them to
confirm my unworthiness.
____10. I stop my critical self-talk and replace it with a nurturing, kind, encouraging voice.
____11. I love, respect, and honor myself.
____12. I am not responsible for anyone else’s actions, needs, choices, thoughts, moods, or feelings, only for my own.
____13. I do not dominate others or allow others to dominate me.
____14. I have good physical and emotional boundaries with others.
____15. I feel my own feelings and think my own thoughts, even when those around me think or feel differently.
____16. I stop using “shoulds” and “oughts,” which are value judgments that put me or another down. (It is irrelevant what I should have done or should do. It is more important to know what I am willing to do and not do.)
____17. I am responsible for changing what I do not like in my life. I face my problems, fears, and insecurities and take appropriate steps to heal and grow.
____18. I am a person of my word and follow through on the things I commit to do.
____19. I forgive myself and others for making mistakes and being unaware.
____20. I believe my life counts. I find meaning and have purpose in my life.
____21. I deserve love and happiness even when others blame or criticize me, for I cannot control what others think about me.
____22. I take care of myself on all levels: physical, social, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
____23. I spend quality time with myself on a regular basis.
____24. I release unreal expectations for myself and others.
____25. I choose to love and respect all human beings regardless of their beliefs and actions, whether or not I have a personal relationship with them.
This is not a test or a precise measure of self-esteem. It identifies beliefs, feelings, and behaviors that contribute to your self-esteem. The 25 statements can be used to update beliefs that have limited your self-esteem. Use the statements as affirmations to change old, outdated beliefs that keep you stuck in low self-esteem. Repeat the statements to yourself often, emphasizing your low scoring answers.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-Esteem is how you feel about yourself based upon your personal evaluation of yourself. Your self-concept, beliefs, and perceptions of yourself all influence your self-esteem and may or may not be accurate. The early experiences of life conditioned your personal evaluation, some positively and some negatively. Early on the family of origin, teachers, peers, social institutions, such as schools and churches, influenced your self-esteem. The good news is that as an adult you now have the power to assess your own self-esteem, at the conscious level of understanding, to determine what needs to be improved upon and changed.
Happiness, self-empowerment, satisfaction in work, good relationships, and success are all built upon a solid foundation of healthy self-esteem. Love, respect, forgiveness, and tolerance for self and all others are valued. Healthy self-esteem is based on an internal frame of reference for loving and accepting self rather than the external (relying on what other people say or do).
High self-esteem is a quiet comfortable feeling of acceptance and love for yourself as you are. It is respecting yourself while honestly seeing your good and not-so-good qualities. High self-esteem is characterized by congruence between inner states (beliefs, feelings, attitudes) and outer states (behaviors, relationships, health).
Remember most people have room to grow in the process of loving, respecting, and accepting themselves. The first step in healing low self-esteem is to recognize where the problems hide. Most people benefit from changing negative self-talk and updating beliefs.
Signs of High Self-Esteem
Remembering to honor yourself from within and detach from the negative comments and opinions of others.
Spending time with people who accept and support you.
Learning from mistakes and being able to say, “I made a mistake, I’m sorry.”
Taking responsibility for your own perceptions and reactions and not projecting onto others.
Ability to listen to your inner self and act on this guidance.
Growing in self-respect, self-confidence, and self-acceptance.
Honestly assessing your strengths and weakness without excessive pride or shame.
Recognizing areas of yourself needing improvement and areas needing acceptance.
Growing in awareness and taking positive risks.
Balancing activities with quiet, quality, alone time.
Accepting consequences of your choices, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Catching negative self-talk and changing it to a positive, supportive voice.
Desiring to grow and improve.
Being your own best friend.
About the Twelve Steps
I have rewritten the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous for people working on the universal need to love and accept themselves. Many people who read the original Twelve Steps have a problem stating “I am powerless.” Those people who practice reprogramming their subconscious minds through positive affirmation do not believe in stating a negative such as this.
I find it helpful to talk about the self in two parts: the little self (ego, conditioned self, or personality self) and the true Self (spiritual Self, transpersonal Self, Christ Self, authentic Self, or higher Self). In reality there is no split; they are one. Until a person experiences this oneness, however, it seems as if there is a separation or split. The Twelve Steps of Building Self-Esteem address this split. By practicing this process of healing through these Twelve Steps, one is capable of experiencing the truth, which is wholeness.
The Twelve Steps move a person from the powerless state of consciousness of the little self to an empowered Spiritually Awakened Being. The personality self is created from the past and is subject to addiction, pain, illusion, and fear. The experiences of childhood conditioned the personality. Since most parenting was not totally adequate (no blame implied), the personality self gets stuck wanting what it never received in the past. This focus on the past of pain, deprivation, etc. creates the split from the true Self. The Twelve Steps help you on the spiritual journey of knowing who you truly are, a Spiritual Being having a physical experience.
Twelve Steps of AA Adapted to Building Self-Esteem
I admit my little self (ego, conditioned self) is powerless to control my negative
thoughts and feelings. My life of feeling unworthy is not working and is
unmanageable.
I believe my wholeness depends on experiencing Love from my Higher Power.
I choose to turn my life over to the care and direction of my Higher Power to become fully conscious, a self-actualized being.
I continue to know myself, looking at past behavior, guiding beliefs, choices,
and conditioning from my family of origin that have manifested negatively in my
life.
I admit and forgive myself for fearful, unaware life-choices, thoughts, words,
actions, and reactions that have blocked Love in my life.
I am ready to transform all aspects of myself that block the power of Love in my
life.
I humbly ask my Higher Power to achieve this transformation.
I make a list of all the situations and people whom I believe I have hurt or whom
I feel have hurt me because of unawareness. I am willing to make peace with
and forgive my past.
9. I heal these relationships directly when possible.
10. I continue to expand my awareness and heal negative patterns that I see. I admit
my mistakes and faulty thinking openly and take responsibility for my life.
I experience more and more Love consciously from my Higher Power through
prayer, meditation, and contemplation. I choose to consciously express this
Divine Love through me.
I am an awakening spiritual being as a result of practicing these steps. I continue
to practice these principles in order to love myself and to pass it on to all others. I
generously share this love and awareness with others who choose my assistance.
JANUARY
1
New Beginning
It’s
a brand new year and I have a new beginning, a fresh new start.
I
let go of yesterday’s resistance to creating a healthier and
happier life.
I begin with a choice to love and support myself.
I
release old negative patterns so I can fully live this day and all
others.
I spend quiet time to ponder the good things I want to
explore this year.
I
commit to discovering and being exactly who I am.
I
set new patterns in motion enjoying a new beginning.
JANUARY
2
Potential
I
spend quiet time walking outside or journal writing to explore my
potential.
I
imagine the most wonderful future for myself and think about small
steps I must take to actualize this future.
I
see myself striving and reaching forward, meeting and expressing my
potential.
I am like the acorn, full of potential, ready to
sprout and begin growing into a giant oak tree.
As
it’s never too late for the mighty oak to grow new branches, it’s
never too late for me to
grow things such as
confidence,
self-acceptance, and expressing my true nature.
I
am growing daily as my potential unfolds.
JANUARY
3
Worthiness
I am a unique expression of the Source.
I am a worthwhile human being because I have been created and I am alive.
I
am worthy and have value regardless of whether I have accepted this
or not.
I cannot earn being worthy of love, happiness, and
acceptance; it is my birthright.
I sow new seeds in my garden to
accept the truth that I am of value and an important part of life.
I am worthy and feel my life has value.
JANUARY 4
Self-Appreciation
I
appreciate myself now, just the way I am.
I understand that there are things I want to change about myself, and know I will.
I stop being overly critical and expecting too much from myself.
I
go at my own pace to change and grow.
As I love and appreciate
myself today, it helps me feel deserving of what I want to create
in my future.
I
appreciate and accept myself right now, today.
JANUARY
5
Unconditional Love
I
love and accept myself unconditionally.
At times when I feel lonely, unhappy, or in need of love and acceptance, I turn inward to receive this love from my spiritual Self.
I no longer rely on others for my warm and loving feelings, as others may have their own issues and needs and not be able to respond as I wish.
I do accept and enjoy unconditional love and acceptance from others.
As unconditional love grows within me, the more I’m able to love others.
I
love myself unconditionally.
JANUARY
6
Nurturing
I
look for ways to nurture myself.
I visualize possible ways to take
better care of myself.
I
write in my journal about people and experiences that nurture me.
I
take time to listen and respond to my inner needs, such as spending
quality time with myself.
I receive nurturing from simple pleasures, such as sharing a good meal with a friend, enjoying the cloud patterns in the sky, the fragrance of a flower, the colors in a painting, or being with a favorite pet.
I
like sitting or walking in nature where I quiet my mind and feel my
oneness with all of life.
I
do one thing today that nurtures me.
JANUARY
7
Responsibility
I take responsibility for my life.
Only I have the power to create my life the way I want it.
I realize people and events have influenced and conditioned me, yet I do not blame or hold others responsible for who I am today.
I
choose to grow and work on my awareness, searching to understand
what motivates me to think, feel, and act as I do.
I see myself
taking the risks necessary to improve my life and to express my
true nature.
I
am responsible for my own life.
JANUARY
8
Choices
I
am my own authority and make my own choices.
Not making a choice,
I realize, is a choice too.
I no longer turn my power over to
others to make decisions for me because I see that I pay the
consequences of their choices.
I willingly pay the consequences,
both good and bad, for my own choices.
By making my own choices
and taking responsibility for them, I expand my free-will choice
and feel I have control over my life.
I am my own authority and enjoy making aware choices.
JANUARY
9
Feeling Good
I
go within myself to feel good.
It
feels good to discover who I am and to express my true Self.
Feeling
good about myself is no longer dependent upon my achievements, what
others think of me, my physical traits, etc.
I feel good about
striving to be a better person, doing my best, setting goals,
taking risks to meet these goals, and living with deeper meaning
and purpose.
It feels good to creatively express my inner truth and beauty.
I feel good as I allow my inner spirit to shine.
JANUARY
10
Inner Knowing
I
listen to the wisdom of my inner knowing.
I take a few moments,
right now, to close my eyes, breathe deeply, and go inward.
I go
to my place of peace and ask, “What do I need today to feel more
balanced? Do I need more activity or less? Do I need to focus on my
social, physical, or emotional well-being? What is the next step
for expanding my awareness?”
Only I know the answer to these questions.
I
listen to the quiet voice of my inner knowing.
JANUARY
11
Achieving
I
enjoy achieving my personal goals and reaching my standards of
excellence.
I
let go of seeking approval and value from others through my
achievements.
I now do things because I enjoy expressing the
creative power within me.
I
accept the rhythm of cycles with high levels of accomplishment, as
well as, low.
I know I am equally worthy whether I get a lot
done or I am simply “being” and not accomplishing measurable
things.
During the quiet, inward cycles, the seeds of new goals
and future achievements are sprouting and taking root.
I
enjoy my creative power to express and achieve what pleases me.
JANUARY
12
Comparison
I
stop comparing myself with others, only with myself to gauge my
progress.
I no longer aggressively race to win or to be the best
in the eyes of the world.
I am a winner whether someone is ahead
of me or behind me on the journey of life.
No one is better than
or less than I am.
I no longer need to concern myself with how
much progress I’m making by looking at others, only myself.
I
have a special assignment that only I can fulfill and that is to be
“Me.”
I accept my own internal time schedule in allowing my
true Self to unfold.
I
am incomparable, so I stop comparing myself to others.
JANUARY
13
Awareness
I
seek greater awareness.
I want to consciously know the many things that are hidden from my view.
I want to understand everything that has molded my character, both positive and negative, so I can heal and choose wisely how to go forward.
I am empowered by understanding my life and what motivates me.
I expand my awareness by reading, observing myself and others, and thinking about why I do things.
I allow people wiser than myself to guide me.
I welcome my growth in awareness.
JANUARY
14
Free-Will Choice
I
have the power of choice to make decisions that support my growth.
I let go of what others want for me and make my choices by listening to my inner Self, paying attention to my real needs, values, and goals.
I have greater free-will choice when I know myself.
Today,
I support myself by making choices from my inner place of power.
I
have greater free-will choice because I listen to myself.
JANUARY
15
Past Suffering
Today
I release suffering over painful events experienced in my past.
I
stop allowing a difficult childhood or marriage, a physical
challenge, or any negative- feeling experiences to
cripple this present day.
I
see with detachment and clarity what took place in my past; I
forgive and then let it go.
I allow hidden emotions to surface so
that I can work through them and grieve.
In
order not to repeat patterns, I remember my truth about what
happened and let it be real.
I can then focus my mind in the
present and appreciate what is
working today in my life.
I
stop suffering over past experiences and appreciate the good in the
present moment.
JANUARY
16
Emotional Reactions
I
am aware that my emotional reactions are bigger than the people or
events that trigger them.
I understand that I react to a pattern
built up in my mind from similar hurtful issues from my
past.
Today, I pay attention to these reactions and ask myself:
“Is this a pattern? When has this rejection or anger response
happened in me before? What past circumstances feel familiar
now? Of whom does this situation remind me?”
I release the pain
of the past by seeing people and events in the present as triggers
and not the cause of my reactions.
I
respond in present time rather than react to emotional triggers.
I allow people and events to “trigger” me
in order to make peace with my past.
JANUARY
17
Value-Judging
I
stop finding fault with myself and others.
I pay attention
whenever I use “shoulds” and “oughts,” as they are
value-judgments
which
lower my self-esteem.
Rather than criticize or judge, I ask
myself, “What am I willing to do, or not do, in the future if
this situation comes up again?”
Then I take positive risks to
move beyond unhealthy old patterns.
I
am willing to live with the consequences of these new choices.
I
stop value-judging myself and others.
JANUARY
18
Mistakes
I
go easy on myself when I make a mistake, realizing that this is how
I learn and grow.
If I had known the outcome of a choice before
I made it, then I would have had the awareness to choose
differently.
I stop my critical mind when I replay over and over
situations that I judge as bad or wrong.
I take time to learn from my mistakes and make amends wherever possible.
I forgive myself for making poor, unaware choices in the past.
I
use my mistakes to grow in awareness.
JANUARY
19
Feelings
My
feelings are not right or wrong.
I understand feelings are simply
part of my inner guidance system.
They give me feedback on thoughts and reactions to my daily experiences and encounters with others.
I am learning to put words to what I’m feeling, which helps me identify thoughts and
beliefs
behind the feelings.
Once I do this, I use my mind to evaluate
these feelings to best decide what to do next.
Sometimes
I simply allow myself to feel my feelings and sometimes I use them
as motivators to help me make beneficial changes.
I acknowledge
all my feelings.
I
always tell myself the truth about what I am feeling.
JANUARY
20
Emotional Victim
I
give up being an emotional victim,
where I feel powerless around people who blame me for their
problems or project
anger onto me.
I observe the part I play in dramas with others
in order to change my part in the scripts.
I
remember to turn inward to gather inner strength and connect to my
spiritual power.
As I begin assessing an unwanted situation, I
release unrealistic expectations and accept people and events
that I cannot change.
If
necessary, I remove myself from a negative person or situation.
I
remember that I can only work on myself.
As I change, I no longer
play my role as emotional victim.
I
give up being an emotional victim.
JANUARY
21
Unwanted Behavior
I
choose to understand my unwanted behavior so I can get better
results in my life.
I look behind my behavior to discover the
causes, to see my needs and the unwise choices I make to get them
met.
Some of my needs are unconscious to me and some compete
with one another, therefore causing unwanted behavior at times.
I
want clarity so I can change the actions
that I do not want to continue.
I go within and ask my wise inner
Self for clues to this puzzle.
I have the power to change unwanted
behavior.
JANUARY
22
Forgiving Myself
I
forgive myself for things I have said, thought, or done in the past
that I do not like.
I remind myself that I only did what I could
do at the time based on my level of understanding at that
time.
It no longer serves me to use today’s awareness to judge
yesterday’s actions.
Today, I know I would do things
differently.
I continue to learn from my unwise choices and make
amends when appropriate.
I
change my negative self-talk with positive affirmations when I find
myself mentally “beating myself up.”
I
forgive myself for unaware things I have said and done in the past.
JANUARY
23
Vulnerability
I appreciate that I am an open, sensitive, and vulnerable person.
I view vulnerability as a strength and an asset.
It allows me to feel deeply, to connect to others easily on an emotional level, and to feel more alive.
I pay attention to where I’m vulnerable to the ‘not so good’ intentions of some people.
I properly protect myself from being taken advantage of, lied to, or hurt.
I choose to be vulnerable as much of the time as possible using my awareness to guide me.
Being vulnerable enriches my relationships, allowing intimacy and bonding.
I appreciate my vulnerability and stay aware to properly protect myself.
JANUARY
24
Integrity
I choose to live with integrity, being honest, sincere, a person of my word, and of sound moral character.
I make a list of my values and add to it as my awareness grows.
The closer I live within my sound value system, the greater the integrity I have with myself and then to share with others.
To build integrity, I observe and honestly evaluate my actions and thoughts on a regular basis.
I
set small goals and take one step at a time to correct the areas of
my life that need higher integrity.
I
strive to live my life with high integrity.
JANUARY
25
Blame
I
feel sadness and remorse for unwise choices that have hurt me or
others in the past.
Continually blaming myself with negative s elf-talk, lowers my self-esteem.
I am, however, responsible for everything I say, think, and do.
I
release patterns of punishing myself with continual blame or
guilt.
When blame comes up, I ask myself, “What can I learn
from this situation that will enable me to create a different
outcome that I will be proud of next time? How can I make amends
and is it appropriate?”
I
forgive myself for unaware choices in the past.
I stop blaming myself for unwise choices.
JANUARY
26
Releasing Pain
I
release emotional pain by journal writing, crying, or talking to a
person with a kind ear about my hurt, anger, and depression.
I
forgive people, situations, and myself for being unaware and causing
me pain.
When I am ready, I detach and see us as characters in a
play, acting out parts in a script that was written at an
unconscious level of awareness.
I
see that the victims and victimizers were both trapped repeating
patterns and not able to realize there are always choices.
Today,
I am more aware and choose to forgive so I can move beyond this
script.
I
release pain from the past by forgiving every person, including
myself, for being unaware.
JANUARY
27
Preferences
I
scan my life for areas where I allow myself to be hurt with
expectations set too high.
I understand that expectations that get
out of hand become emotionally charged demands or emotional
addictions that rule me.
I
can diffuse the power these emotional addictions have over me by
changing them to preferences.
Preferences are soft and flexible,
while emotional addictions are demands that are rigid and
inflexible.
I change my emotionally backed expectations to
preferences which allows me the freedom to flow around unwanted
outcomes.
I
turn emotional demands into preferences.
JANUARY
28
Goals
Today,
I think about my goals and write down three of them.
I set
realistic goals, as standards set too low or too high lower my good
feelings about myself.
I take my three goals and write down
several small steps needed to achieve each.
I allow the proper time frame for me to achieve my goals.
I
evaluate, prioritize, and adjust my goals periodically because as I
change my goals can change.
I
set realistic goals for myself.
JANUARY
29
Thoughts
My
thoughts are powerful and direct my life.
My current thoughts create tomorrow.
Today,
I practice identifying some of my thoughts and beliefs in order to
update those no longer serving me.
I say affirmations to change
my negative thoughts to positive ones.
I
plant new seed thoughts in my mind based on love and truth.
I
plant healthy, loving thoughts in the garden of my mind.
JANUARY
30
Boundaries
I
pay attention to my physical and emotional boundaries, the personal
space around me.
I
notice when I’m in harmony with another.
I notice when I feel
uncomfortable with someone.
I
take action to care for myself by setting clear boundaries that
support me having a safe pace both physically and emotionally.
I
communicate clearly so others understand my limits.
I remove myself from situations or people when my boundaries are not respected.
I stay conscious so that I interact with others in healthy ways that support my needs.
I
set appropriate physical and emotional boundaries for myself.
JANUARY
31
My Mother
I
love and appreciate my mother.
I am grateful for the gift of life
she gave me and the sacrifices she made for me.
All that I
learned being her child is a part of me now.
I release and
forgive all the judgments and criticisms I have about wanting some
things to have been different in my childhood.
I
send love and forgiveness to my mother.
My inner mother loves and
nurtures me.
(May be read on your mother’s birthday.)
I
love and appreciate my mother.
FEBRUARY 1
Prosperity
I am prosperous.
My prosperity is more than having all the money I want, it grows out of finding fulfillment within myself, my relationships, and all that I do.
I heal lack or scarcity in any area of my life as I focus on building prosperity consciousness.
To create more cash flow, for example, I ask myself where I stop my prosperity with negative attitudes, opinions, or beliefs about having money or deserving money.
I set in motion a plan to spend less than I make, repay old debts even if a long time has passed, save, give to individuals or organizations, and become debt free.
My creativity actualizes unexpected ways to acquire what I want.
My abundance grows as I build prosperity consciousness.
FEBRUARY
2
Receiving
I
allow receiving into my life.
When another person gives me a
compliment or does a kindness for me I easily accept.
Receiving
from another builds friendship and connectedness.
I
enjoy and appreciate kindness from others.
I balance giving and
receiving in my life, as
they
are different halves of a whole and one without the other is
incomplete.
I like to experience both giving and receiving.
I
receive graciously.
FEBRUARY
3
Giving
I
am a giving person and respond appropriately to the needs of
others.
I listen to my inner self to
identify what I need to do for myself, so I have clear boundaries
and know my limits.
I
fill myself emotionally and spiritually in order to give from my
overflow and without an expectation of a return.
The rewards of
healthy giving are the good feelings I receive when expressing
kindness towards another or giving acts of service.
I check my tendency to over-give which usually happens when I forget to take care of myself and give for the wrong reasons: to receive love, attention, praise, or acknowledgement.
I
tune into myself regularly to make sure my giving is genuine and
from the heart.
I give freely to others from my overflow.
FEBRUARY
4
Self-improvement
I am good even when I have habits, actions, or thinking patterns that I do not like. Rather than put myself down for these parts of myself that I do not like, I make an improvement plan.
Often, I remind myself of my new intentions and take small steps to transform.
I observe myself as I go through my day, noticing where I can make positive changes in my behavior, speech, thinking, and self-talk.
I go easy on myself and know it takes time to make changes, realizing my good intentions support the process.
I
observe people who model positive ways to improve my life.
I
choose continuous self-improvement as a way of life.
FEBRUARY 5
Improving a
Relationship
I study one of my relationships that needs some improvement.
Rather than waste time thinking about how I would like the other person to be different, I ask, “What I can do differently to change the dance between us?”
Since my intentions pave the way for my experiences, I focus on what I want to experience in our relationship and communicate with an open heart and mind.
When conflict arises, I limit my defenses and use all my senses to hear what is unspoken, as well as spoken so we can clear away the old and create new patterns.
I observe myself when old patterns emerge in this
relationship and make conscious choices to
think, say, and act in accordance with my
good intentions.
I choose to communicate as genuinely and authentically as I am able.
I improve my relationships by focusing on what I can do differently.
FEBRUARY
6
Mirrors
Everyone
is my mirror.
I
understand myself better by looking at the reflection others give
me.
I would not see something in another if it were not a part of
me or a potential within me.
I
remember that everyone is capable of wise and unwise actions and
that I have choices.
Instead of judging others as good or bad, I
seek to learn from everyone I meet.
I
notice when another shows me how I do not want to be.
I spend
time with the people who reflect my goodness, love, and beauty.
I
allow the mirrors of others to teach me about myself and my
potential.
FEBRUARY
7
Talents
I
feel good about myself when I develop my talents and abilities.
My
talents may or may not be achievements highly valued by society.
My
gifts may be playing the piano, writing poetry, taking care of
plants, working easily with children, playing sports to the best of
my abilities, being intuitive with animals, or having the patience
to listen to others in need.
I go within and remember the things
I like to do and what excites me about life.
It’s time again to
focus on my talents and gifts so I can express more of myself.
It pleases me to develop and use my talents.
I
take one step today to develop and use my talents.
FEBRUARY
8
Spiritual Essence
There
is much more to me than my personality, behavior, and mind.
I am
a spiritual being that exists beyond the physical level of life.
As
I open my heart and mind I experience my true nature, my spiritual
essence.
I spend quiet time in prayer, meditation, and
contemplation to improve my connection to my spiritual roots.
I grow daily in understanding and expressing my spiritual essence.
FEBRUARY
9
Spiritual Nourishment
Spiritual
nourishment is the source of my inner strength and power.
I open
my heart and fill myself with love and light from The Source.
I
imagine golden-white light pouring energy in and around and through
me to nourish my mind and all the cells of my body.
I
feel oneness will all of creation.
My emotional well-being is
uplifted by receiving nourishment from Spirit.
I
go into my day empowered,
knowing I have everything I need to handle what comes up in my
day.
I
receive spiritual nourishment and feel whole and complete.
FEBRUARY
10
Purpose
I
have a special purpose only I can fulfill.
No one else is exactly
like I am, so only I can fulfill the destiny of being me.
As I
learn and grow in consciousness, I become more aware of my spiritual
purpose.
I begin by listening to the still, quiet voice within
on a daily basis.
I am learning to become my true Self and actualize my purpose.
I
have a special purpose and it begins with self-awareness and learning
to be my own unique self.
FEBRUARY
11
Sacred Space
I
create a sacred space in my home where I meditate, pray, and
contemplate my life.
My sacred space could be a room in my home or a certain chair and table in a quiet corner.
In my sacred space I put my favorite items that remind me of my spiritual, inner work, such as favorite books, pictures, and things that make me happy and feel good.
I keep a journal here to log important insights and inner experiences.
I
create a sacred space to do my inner healing work.
FEBRUARY
12
School of Life
I
look at life as if it were a school.
I remember that I am here to
learn and grow, to become fully aware of who and what I am.
I
see the challenges that come my way as part of the curriculum that I
signed up for at the spiritual level of my being.
Rather than
criticize, deny, or avoid my problems, I see them as opportunities
for growth.
I
pay special attention to lessons which nourish my well-being:
interacting with others to experience love, support, and caring,
growing in awareness, developing my gifts and talents, resolving
conflict.
I
am in the school of life and learn from every experience.
FEBRUARY
13
Problems
I
look at problems in a new way, they are calling for my attention and
I have a chance to do things differently.
When I take the time to
study issues in my life, I begin seeing alternatives that were not
obvious at first.
As I gather information on an issue giving me
difficulty, I see there are people who have walked a similar path
before me who are available to be my teachers.
My problems are
no longer traps, simply a means to becoming more aware.
I
see my problems as opportunities for growth.
FEBRUARY
14
Valentine
I am my own valentine today.
I say kind things to myself, repeating my favorite affirmations.
I
extend kindness to others by smiling and making eye contact.
I
verbalize my love and appreciation to my friends and family.
I
give a card to special people in my life.
I
express love and kindness to others on Valentine’s day.
FEBRUARY
15
Questioning
I
like to think about and prove the validity of new ideas before
making them mine.
I
remember to question new ideas that I read in books or hear from
others.
Before blindly accepting new concepts into my
consciousness I like to question their practical application.
Once
I see the benefit of an idea, I then update my belief system with
the new ideas.
I
value taking the time to question new points of view.
I question ideas as I open my mind to new points of view.
FEBRUARY
16
Love Versus Like
I
am aware of the difference between loving and liking.
I can
unconditionally love someone and not like their character.
My
like or dislike of someone is an emotional response and has a lot to
do with how much we have in common.
Choosing to love everyone
does not dictate any behavior on my part.
Sometimes the most
loving thing for me to do is to not be around someone I do not
like, as I must take care of myself.
I
choose to be around people that I like.
I
choose to love everyone and build friendships with people I like.
FEBRUARY
17
Intellectualizing
I
notice when I’m “in my head” and not participating in my
life.
Talking about and analyzing my problems are good to a
point; however, my growth stops when I spend too much time
intellectualizing.
I now begin taking risks to apply what I know
I need to do.
I stop intellectualizing my problems and take positive action.
FEBRUARY
18
Wellness
I
enjoy wellness.
When off balance, I pay attention to the messages my body gives me in the metaphor of illness, aches, or pain.
For
example, a pain in my neck may be telling me to deal with a person
with whom I have tolerated too much and need to confront.
As
I crack the code of the metaphors, I make positive changes to heal
my thoughts, feelings, and actions which influence my health
positively.
I also take care of myself on the physical level,
practicing healthy habits to promote my health and wellness.
I
enjoy wellness and listen when my body talks to me.
FEBRUARY
19
Inner Peace
I
experience inner peace when I love and forgive others on a continual
basis.
It’s predictable that I will get my feelings hurt or want to defend myself when I allow another to push my emotional buttons.
In
order to change my reactive behavior and feelings, I go within to
center myself with deep breathing and remind myself that inner
peace is a choice cultivated over time.
I spend time alone each
day to enjoy my inner peace.
I
add peace to the world by first experiencing peace within and then
practicing it with others.
I
choose inner peace.
FEBRUARY
20
Fear
I
acknowledge my fear thoughts and feelings, no longer letting them
get me down or stop my progress for long.
When
irrational thoughts and feelings of fear arise, I feel the fear and
keep on taking risks to improve my life.
I change my negative
self-talk and pessimistic attitude by overriding them with
affirmations of new truths.
I respect a healthy response of fear
when I need to take action to remove myself from danger.
I
acknowledge my fear and continue taking positive risks.
FEBRUARY
21
Assimilating
Sometimes
I judge myself as falling behind or failing to grow when I’m at a
standstill.
I
now know I have reached a plateau, usually after a period of
accelerated growth.
A lot takes place internally on these
plateaus.
I am assimilating and putting into practice what I
have recently learned.
I am committed to my growth path and enjoy
the pauses along the way.
I
accept the pauses in my life as the perfect time to assimilate new
ideas.
FEBRUARY
22
Value
I
value all life.
I am a valuable part of humanity.
I am worthy and of equal value to every other person, which has nothing to do with differences in abilities, interests, race, education, religious beliefs, or economic level.
I
value and accept individual differences among people.
My
self-esteem is based on valuing and accepting myself today as I am
and striving to build a better me one step at a time.
I
value myself and every other person.
FEBRUARY
23
Approval
I
approve of myself and how I live my life.
I stop getting my security and acceptance needs met from other people’s approval.
When others approve of me, I joyfully accept it in the moment and let go of depending or expecting it in the future.
As
I learn new values, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors, I do not
expect others to always understand or be able to give me their
approval.
It’s important to allow others to disagree with
me.
As the love and support for myself grows, the need for
approval or agreement from others lessens.
I give myself approval to make positive changes in my life.
I
give myself approval to grow and change, releasing the need for
others’ approval.
FEBRUARY
24
Self-Talk
I
monitor my self-talk.
When I hear criticism, “shoulds,” and
“put downs,” I override them with positive, encouraging,
nonjudgmental words.
If I hear negative comments from others
directed to hurt me, I quickly release them from my mind.
I
change my conditioned mind by repeating affirmations to myself
often.
I talk kindly to myself with positive self-talk.
FEBRUARY
25
Avoidance
Today,
I pay attention to what makes me uncomfortable.
I notice the
things I want to avoid.
I
pay attention to my body awareness and the feelings that come up
for me when resistance surfaces.
I choose to stay with the
discomfort knowing it is showing me something.
I then ponder the
meaning behind my thoughts and feelings when uncomfortable, to
determine what I need to do with the information, if
anything.
Sometimes just being aware of what is taking place is
enough.
I
stop avoiding and face what makes me feel uncomfortable.
FEBRUARY
26
Expectations
I
accept where I am on my life-path and have reasonable expectations
for my growth and healing.
It no longer serves me to expect
myself to be farther along on my journey.
I can only be where I
am.
When I catch myself being unrealistic and expecting too much
from myself, I take time out to center myself, quiet my mind, and
begin saying positive things to myself.
I build my self-esteem
by knowing where I am going and knowing it takes time t o put into
practice the new ideas I am learning.
I
let go of expecting too much, too fast from myself.
FEBRUARY
27
Gratitude
I am grateful for so many things in my life.
I start a gratitude journal to daily list several things I’m thankful for each day.
I begin today listing happy memories and listing all the people with whom I feel connected.
I appreciate myself for being open to new ideas to change my life.
I appreciate my awareness which helps me see how to create goodness in my life.
I watch the seeds of gratitude grow daily in my garden.
I have an attitude of gratitude.
FEBRUARY
28
Well Nourished
I am well nourished physically, emotionally, socially, mentally, and spiritually because I take good care of myself.
I have a daily routine that includes getting proper rest, eating healthy foods, and exercise that suits my personality.
I nourish myself by decorating with and wearing my favorite colors.
I start or develop a hobby that gives me pleasure and nourishment.
I expose myself to new ideas in books, classes, or lectures to stimulate and nourish my mind.
I am well nourished because I take excellent care of myself.
FEBRUARY
29
Magical Day
Today
is a special bonus day.
I allow my inner secret wishes, hopes and
dreams to surface.
I write them down in my journal so I remember
them.
As I become aware of what I want, this plants seeds in the garden of my mind of new goals to strive towards.
I
let the magic of the day show me my secret wishes, hopes, and dreams.
MARCH
1
Grounding
I
begin my day by centering and grounding myself.
I stand with my
feet planted firmly on the ground and take several deep breaths.
I
feel Mother Earth supporting me, feeling safe and secure in my
physical body.
As I remember to connect to this solid place, I
remain centered as I go through the experiences of my day.
When
I am grounded I think more clearly and make wiser choices that
support me.
At any time I lose focus, am not able to pay
attention, am accident prone, or repeatedly make small mistakes,
I take a few moments to think of my feet, deep breathe, and
remember to ground myself.